you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
