Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
