my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
