So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
