My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
