just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
