ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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