Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
