In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
