when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
