dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
