6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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