every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
