I accidentally burped into my bong.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
