how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
