The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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