apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
