Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
