i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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