he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Houston, we have a squirter
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
