this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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