i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
