It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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