She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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