that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
