so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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