My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
