so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
