Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
bring money and cleavage
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
