Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
