are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
