No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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