Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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