I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I want a musical about memes.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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