Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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