No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
