i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
