question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
