yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
