hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
