I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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