it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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