everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
