That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
