Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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