i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
