Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you traded sex for a burrito?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
