i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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