Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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