Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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