she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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