I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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